Nearly an entire month since his arrival, and Matt is finally starting to move past the initial confusion and shock of waking up in Ancient Rome. The Strix attacks made everything that much more real, and now his time training is about more than adjusting to the changes to his senses. It's about protecting people like it ought to be. Among those he specifically wants to keep safe, the man he's currently talking with and passing water back and forth.
They had just finished another round of training, Matt was stretching out his limbs and catching his breath. He didn't go easy on anyone during exercises, including Foggy, knowing it would be better for everyone if he practiced with purpose instead of holding back. He wasn't about to encourage others to go easy on the blind guy, this sent that message loud and clear. The rest was a force of habit, the training reminding him of childhood memories learning from Stick. He would have had hell to pay if he didn't give one hundred percent.
"You did good today," he tells Foggy, "You improved."
Before the Strix, Foggy'd been... mostly serious about training. He'd tried, anyway, he'd just stuck to the stuff that he was better suited for. Learning Tai Chi from Magnus, swinging their practice swords around like a blunt instrument, hauling stuff to help build the still and the icebox, that he can do.
He's good with his hands, good at any kind of heavy lifting, it's just - everything else that makes Foggy groan and dump a little bit of water over his head to try to cool down.
"Remind me that in the morning when I get up and my entire body hurts. I gotta tell you, Matt, this is no where near as fun as dancing for the same result, but hey, at least I'm improving." He's smiling, though, and there's no real heat to his complaints. Foggy was the one who asked for this, and he's accepted that he really needs to at least learn how to defend himself with more than a makeshift baseball bat.
"Ugh, even smiling hurts. Stop saying nice things to me."
"Fighting is a type of dance if you put your mind to it," Matt teases. "Shall we request music be played during the next training session? I don't think they know how to play a salsa though." There, he's teasing instead of saying nice things, request fulfilled! Matt grins to himself as he thinks back to memories of Foggy Nelson and the art of dance. Always an entertaining subject. Based on all the positive commentary Matt heard from others, Foggy had earned the right to brag about his talent.
He wipes the sweat off his forehead and tugs at the collar of his tunic; at least the local fashion breathed reasonably well still he would prefer to exercise in his clothes from home. They need to find some shade.
Laughter spills out before Foggy can help it, which only makes him groan again. No, laughing is even worse, damn it Matt.
…that actually sounds like a good idea, though, and he's already wondering about how he can make it happen. “I think I can take one for the team and teach it to them. I might just have to hum it at any musician I see until they pick it up, but you know what, I believe in them.”
He's on the same wavelength as Matt, though, and he starts looking for some shady spots at the same time as he automatically reaches out to tap Matt’s arm, offering his own for him to take.
"I'm sure a talented musician could make it happen. But if you taught them how to play that style wouldn't that mean you might be inventing salsa music?" Damn that confusing time travel stuff.
Matt feels the gentle tap on his arm and wipes the sweat off his palm on his tunic before he grabs Foggy's arm; if Foggy's elbow area happens to be sweaty he won't say anything. They haven't walked around together like this so often since college, logical as they were living together at the time and even if they're not in the same house now they're both at the complex for most waking hours. It's a nice reminder of a happier time in their relationship, though Matt is mentally holding his breath and waiting for the other shoe to drop. He has no idea what he'll do to handle things when that time arrives. Will it result in the same distant conversations with him or for that matter with Karen?
"Matt, buddy, have I told you lately how brilliant you are? I can invent salsa music!"
Foggy is very deliberately choosing not to be confused by it. He's seen Back to the Future, all right, he knows how this works. Totally. All that matters is that he has the chance to invent salsa music and he's taking it.
Just like he's very deliberately choosing not to focus on the fact that he's... kind of waiting for the same. Something's going to come up; it has too, considering they haven't really even resolved the issues from their first huge fight, but that something doesn't have to be now.
But he's watching Matt out of the corner of his eye as they find some shade under one of the weapons tents, and he always did have a hard time just letting it go when it was about someone else being broody.
"All right, you've got your patented Matt Murdock unhappy thinking face on, what's up?"
He's taking his chance to invent salsa music. Of course he's taking his chance! Matt throws a hand over his face as he laughs. Well, it's not like the world will be harmed by learning the art sooner than intended. Music could make wonderful leaps and bounds hundreds of years early this way.
As they walk, Matt grinds his jaw while he sorts his useful thoughts from the worries he can't do anything about at the moment or wants to avoid. There's a rustle of fabric as they enter one of the tents. The instant cool feeling of the shade is a relief that earns a satisfied sigh. Well, that's one comfort.
Matt snaps to attention when Foggy speaks up and he blinks a couple times. "Patented unhappy thinking face," he muses, "I swear you've used that one before over the years."
Seeing Matt laugh like makes Foggy's heart do something complicated and confusing, and he spends a moment wondering what the hell Matt'd make of it if he could still hear heartbeats the way he could back home. It's probably a good thing that he can't, because Foggy's not sure he really wants to know, even if he is kind of curious.
Still, he lets it go to quirk a little smile at Matt's response, shaking his head.
"Yeah, well, there's a reason that it's patented. You making it enough gives me free rein to comment on it more than once." He bumps his shoulder against Matt's lightly. "And that wouldn't be you dodging the question, would it?"
He keeps his tone light, like he can pretend it's just a joke and the answer to that doesn't matter to him at all, like it'll mean nothing if that actually was his intention.
[ Matt can't seem to stop grinning, it's almost difficult to talk he's that happy. Training felt like it took a lifetime, something he rarely experiences, all because it's Foggy's birthday and there is nothing he wants to do more than spend the day singing his praises and making him happy. So far the day had gone great. Matt woke him up in the morning with some affection that might have woken the neighbors too. Over breakfast, he mentioned that he had something to give him later. "Nothing big but maybe it will remind you of home," he hinted. It took far too much willpower not to smile at him during training and he was hit a couple times by strikes he could have dodged because he was distracted by his thoughts. They spent their other meals and evening free time with Karen and other friends before finally retiring to their "separate" rooms. Matt was sitting on Foggy's window frame by the time he made it up the stairs. He nearly forgot to wait for Foggy to close the door before launching across the room to embrace him. ]
This is what I wanted to give you. I know I already made you one before but since it's still at home and- I don't know if you still have it...
[ He holds out the leather bracelet he had woven, grin giving way to a softer smile. ]
[ It's not that Foggy forgot his own birthday, necessarily - he loves his birthday, loves everyone's birthday, and he's the kind of guy who struggles with not making a big deal out of them and winds up getting people an armload of presents or throwing a party even if they said they didn't want to get or do anything. It's just that, well, the difference between seasons from what it was at home and what it was when he got here threw him off, and it feels like it's too early to be his birthday.
Also kind of feels like he shouldn't make it a big deal, here, because no one gives a shit when there's a war going on.
So it means more than he can say that Matt still treats it like it is a big deal. Like it's special enough to be given extra consideration even during all of this, and he spends most of the day being reminded every five seconds or so of just how much he loves Matt.
He huffs out a laugh when he comes into his room just to find Matt sitting on the window, and just absolutely lights up when he sees the bracelet. Enough that after he takes it, he keeps hold of Matt's hand and presses it to his face for a moment so Matt can feel just how wide he's grinning - Matt deserves to know the kind of reaction he's getting. ]
What do you take me for, the kind of loser who didn't keep every single memento from his best friend while he was pining away for him? I still have a box full of receipts and ticket stubs - and huh, saying it out loud I'm not sure if counts as romantic or weird, so let's just gloss over that part.
[ He focuses back on the bracelet, turning it over in his hands. ]
The bracelet was special, Matt, of course I still have it. I love it. And I love this one - thank you.
[ Matt doesn't say it but he needed this. A perfect excuse to make a big deal out of the man in front of him. Between the war and the weight on his heart from mourning it's good to stop and appreciate that someone extremely special is right by his side, to be thankful for the good times they've had together and the way their relationship has grown in the past few months.
He grins again at the feeling of Foggy's face warm with joy and stretched with a big grin. He gives an audible sigh of relief as Foggy informs him that he still has the original bracelet and then some, and most importantly that he likes the new one. ]
I wasn't sure what to give you until I found someone selling leatherware at the market. Turned out they had a little extra material they were willing to part with. You can't call this one a friendship bracelet though, you'll have to come up with something sappier.
[ Matt brushes his fingers over his cheek and leans in to peck him on the lips. ]
Just how many receipts and ticket stubs do you have stashed away? Hm. You must have it bad for me! Don't tell me you have the papers we worked on together or the tests we aced too. Where will there be space for my copies when our collections combine?
[ He's so caught up in the moment he doesn't give a second thought to the implication they might combine their belongings someday. He says it without hesitation, like a fact. ]
[ That sigh of relief makes Foggy's heart twinge just a little - he's not sure if it's because Matt'd thought that Foggy was so angry while they were fighting that he would've gotten rid of it or because Matt's so used to the gifts he'd given people being discarded, but either way, it makes him even more glad that he'd worn it more often than not. ]
You're telling me to be even sappier than I usually am, you sure about that? [ His grin stays just as wide as he hums, pretending to consider that. ] I'll go easy on you and call them couple's bracelets, though that means I'm going to have to find one for you, too.
[ They're doing a great job at this low key thing, really. His skin warms just a little bit at the teasing, right up until Matt admits that he's got copies of things, too, and then he lights back up again. ]
I believe we call that leading the witness, counselor, I refuse to answer that. You know exactly how badly I have it for you. [ But he leans in for another kiss to back that statement up, lingering a little bit longer over this one. ] I bet we have our entire college career between the two of us; we'll find somewhere to stash it.
[ It is a fact, apparently, or at least it's something that feels so natural to talk about that Foggy doesn't even blink. ]
Where did you learn how to make these, anyway? I was so distracted trying to be cool and keep my excitement over you giving it to me to an appropriate best friend level and not an 'I might be falling hopelessly in love with you' level that I forgot to ask.
Couple's bracelets? Hmm. Well I could always teach you how to make one if you want to match. I know how much you like gifts to be a surprise though; I leave the decision to you.
[ Nobody will suspect a thing! If they ask, they're friendship bracelets obviously!
Matt is smiling so much it's a little difficult to pucker his lips for kisses, a common occurrence. Thankfully most of their kisses such as these happen in sets. He hasn't told Foggy yet but he still gets a little weak in the knees whenever a kiss lingers or seems to set off a spark just right. He wouldn't mind if it kept happening forever. It could! ]
I might have known you were playing it cool back then but I was too. I don't know... what is the regular level of excitement over gift exchanges between loving best friends? Maybe you had a serious love for handcrafted leather accessories.
I learned from a girl who was at the orphanage the first year I was there. It was one of the few craft projects I could really participate in. I happened to be decent at it. Not that it's difficult to do, most of it is repetition. I lost the first couple I made or they were tossed out when I wasn't wearing them. They were cheap paper; we didn't have high quality materials for kids crafts.
You could teach me anyway, and I just won't tell you if I'm making you one. Then it'll still be a surprise.
[ Though they probably both know that if Foggy's making the effort to learn, he's going to make Matt one eventually. It's fine; Foggy's got a tiny pile of gifts for Matt that'll still definitely be a surprise - not in the least because he just keeps not getting a chance to give them to him. ]
I had a serious love for something. I can't believe we managed to successfully play it cool. I know we hadn't reached our current peak level of suave back then, so I have to assume we were both just huge dorks and it cancelled out.
[ Matt's not the only one who still gets weak in the knees. Foggy might've told himself that his heart stopped beating double time over every little thing Matt did a long time ago, and maybe that was true before they started dating, but now? It's back with a vengeance.
He shifts a little to kiss the tips of Matt's fingers, though he's still grinning, too, so it's more like a press of his lips, but still. ]
From a girl, huh, did you give her one, too? You sure they got tossed out, maybe the other girls were just snatching them up so they could have one too.
[ Matt laughs, both of them know Foggy is obvious in his intentions but it's fun anyway. He'll have to visit that craftsman again for more material.
He hums and nods in agreement as Foggy muses on their previous behavior. They had both been thoroughly distracted by their own efforts, missing the other one makes sense. It's difficult not to launch into groans over how stupid they were missing the obvious all these years but Matt has reminded himself repeatedly that it's more productive to make up for all the affection they missed out on expressing than groaning over their mistakes. Still, it's a funny subject bound to rear it's head after they've had enough wine and they'll be laughing about it for a long time.
Matt's smile twitches at the feeling of Foggy kissing his fingers again the way it does almost everytime he does it like he's holding back laughter, which he really is. He hasn't said it, somewhat embarrassed by how much such a little thing warms his heart, but he loves that he can touch Foggy's face to feel his expression and Foggy's natural inclination is to kiss his fingers as if letting him feel for his smile or frown is as wonderful for him as it is for Matt. Maybe it is?
He shakes his head and laughs again at Foggy's suggestion, half because he recognizes the familiar tone and concept from countless other exchanges. Foggy was always quick to imply Matt would have admirers lining up for him, something that has taken on a second meaning since they got together. But of course Foggy would think that of the man he himself finds so attractive. ]
No, no. She had her fill of bracelets after making them long before she taught me. Most of the other girls learned from her, there was no shortage of them around the orphanage for a while there. Eventually, I was the only one occasionally weaving one. I probably got better at making them than the girl who taught me.
[ He shrugs his shoulders and in the silence following his explanation his unfocused eyes sink from where they were pointed toward Foggy's mouth downward toward the floor. He can't entirely ignore the reminder of Stick's rejection. Foggy has no idea of course about how the subject is related, and he had made Foggy a bracelet the first time in part to try making a happy memory to balance out the bad. ]
[ It is just as wonderful, especially now that he doesn't have to try to pretend how much he enjoys having Matt's hands on him. And he likes making little gestures like that for Matt, he always has. A lot of habits he's picked up over the years of knowing Matt may not have been as necessary as he thought - or even more necessary, when it comes to things like scent and touch - but they're a part of who he is now, and he does them without even thinking.
He laughs at Matt's headshake, still a little skeptical. Look, maybe Foggy can admit that he's biased, but Matt is both amazing and apparently slightly oblivious when it comes to people being interested in him. He's still pretty sure that more people had crushes on the guy than he'll ever know.
And Foggy used to consider himself one of those people, but fortunately for him, it's working out better than he ever could have imagined. He's still grinning as he fastens the bracelet around his wrist.
He's about ready to voice his skepticism teasingly, until Matt's gaze drops, and Foggy knows that means Matt's thoughts have gone somewhere that are a lot more painful than he's letting on. ]
I know that look. Oh, wait, hey - is this a "sad Matt Murdock I don't want to talk about it and make myself vulnerable" thing or a "magic ninja super power I can't talk about it but I don't want to lie" thing? I always figured it was the first but I'm thinking I might have to re-categorize some things. [ Not the point, Nelson. ] ...sorry. But you can talk to me, Matt.
[ The end of another day. In the early evening, Matt had left the complex to go down to the tree near the river again, once more without telling anyone where he was off to and why. Later, as he walked back to the complex he wondered if he was doing the wrong thing not telling Foggy about the stones he had stacked under the tree and the prayers he kept reciting, hoping it would help him get through his grief faster. Couples don't have to know every little thing the other one does. Privacy is still important. He comes up with the same excuse every time and every time it doesn't feel like it fits quite right. He's late to dinner and finds his typical spot next to Foggy waiting for him.
Later that night he thinks he hears people talking from afar and his heart leaps. He raises a hand and snaps his fingers, hoping the click will reverberate off the walls and reveal the area around him the way it would for him normally. He tries several times then lowers his hand again and sighs. Just his imagination, his hearing isn't back to normal.
The night seems even quieter than usual after the reminder. He remembers to make a point of speaking softly to Foggy later when they're a tangle of limbs pulling off clothing and slipping into the bed, whispering sweet nothings and laughing softly at their own terrible jokes between kisses. He had just positioned himself in Foggy's lap facing him and leaned in to whisper in his ear when Matt pauses and lifts his head, tilting it side to side to try catching the noise he hears better, brow furrowed. ]
Is someone in another room talking?
[ Not as if that would be odd in a complex. Of all people, they have no right to complain about neighbors' noise. It seems closer though, quiet but not muffled the way it should be if it was coming from behind a wall. ]
[ Foggy's noticed, of course he has. Despite everything - or maybe in part because of everything - he's still pretty sure he knows Matt better than anyone else, and he knows when something's bothering him. He hasn't pushed beyond a couple of "absent" comments about being there for whatever Matt needs, anything Matt needs. Although admittedly, he kind of thinks his attempt to be pointed but vague just ended up sounding like he was flirting, but still.
A couple of years ago, Foggy would've said that he could wait, and Matt'll tell him when he's ready. Now, well. Now he's not as sure, but he's less angry over that than he is sad. Matt's so used to having to hold pieces of himself back from everyone out of fear that no one'll still be there if they get to see all of him. Foggy hates that he'd ended up contributing to that as much as he hates that Matt's response to things is to be a huge asshole sometimes.
So of course he's struggling with actually talking about whatever it is. Foggy can wait, until either Matt makes a decision or it starts weighing on him so heavily that he can't help but start prying a little. He's got plenty to distract him in the meantime.
Like Matt being in his lap, and it's a pretty safe bet that Foggy's not thinking about anything but getting to touch Matt as much as possible, even when he pauses.
God Matt's cute. He knows there has to be something that Matt's picking up to make him do his little head tilt thing, but for a moment he's distracted by it to care about what, until Matt's question. ]
Maybe? Shit, we weren't being that loud, right?
nsfw and tw because yikes (verbal abuse, homophobia, more to come no doubt)
[ They were speaking more hushed than normal this time and hadn't forgotten to watch their volume yet. When he pauses to listen, the entire Mercury house seems silent minus a few muffled thumps from people moving in other rooms and on other floors. Matt turns his head to Foggy and smiles, giving a little shrug. ]
Must be my imagination. I thought I heard people talking from far away earlier today, the way I normally would, but nothing has changed.
[ He shakes his head again, this time at his mistake, and he leans in to press a kiss to Foggy's lips. Maybe his frustrations are getting the best of him. Better to hold tight to Foggy and put his troubles aside for the night.
He's smiling at him and running his fingers over Foggy's forehead to brush back his hair when something drops in his stomach, his intuition telling him something isn't right a split second before he hears a familiar old voice rasping right in his ear as if the man were leaning in to bark at him the way he had so many times long ago.
"Matty, what the hell are you doing?"
Matt snaps to attention, spine straight, eyes wide. ]
Why-?
[ Matt's voice is choked when he speaks, barely getting out the word. His fingers tremble against the back of Foggy's neck. There's no way Stick could possibly...
The bodyless voice huffs in indignation. "You've made stupid decisions over the years but THIS is a new level of idiocy. You agreed to fight in this war- you made the decision to join- but you still haven't committed yourself. Still hesitating on the battlefield, still refusing to kill your enemies when you know it endangers others. Worse, you can barely fight properly even after all these months of training!
You know all this but instead of doing something about it you get in bed every night with Scruffy here and let him fill your head with softhearted shit while he fucks you like some kind of hoar. Is this what you got from all that time I taught you? You think being a soldier means playing house and sucking another man's dick? It's not genius!"
[ He runs a hand down Matt's spine, absent and soothing, while he listens. And really, Foggy's ready to believe that's it. He knows that Matt's struggling with not having his senses - and he knows that means Matt's probably struggling even more than he's admitting, because Matt always tries to downplay things like that. It'd make sense if this has been one of the things that's weighing on him.
Which, well. Means that Foggy's basically doing a complete reversal from what he was just thinking about being patient and is absolutely getting ready to push. Or nudge, maybe, just a tiny bit. But then there's that, and Foggy's head snaps towards the door just as Matt snaps to attention.
Holy shit, of all the people to get resurrected - but the room's empty. It's empty, but Foggy's really starting to wish that it wasn't, because the more the phantom voice talks the more Foggy wants to punch it in the face harder than he's ever punched anything before.
The fact that Matt doesn't seem surprised by what Stick's saying, only that the voice is there at all - yeah, that tells Foggy all he needs to know. And he's too furious to shut up or step back and think more about this, because shit all of that is - well, it's personally insulting, frankly, and there's more than one thing in there that gets his blood boiling on his own behalf. But mostly absolutely none of that is anything that Matt needed to hear. Ever, but especially not from someone who he'd trusted and respected, and who he still blames himself for losing. ]
There's no one there. He's not here, Matt, he's - are you kidding me, this is where we're at now? Because the Owls of Death and the rain that wouldn't end and Murder Bambi wasn't enough, now we've got the Ghost of Asshole Past? Get out, you crusty old jackass, maybe if you'd gotten laid a little more you wouldn't have been such a sorry excuse for a human being. And you lost your chance to talk about all that time I taught you when you up and left two seconds into training him because one thing didn't go how you wanted it. How's that for cowardice and idiocy, huh?
[ He doesn't know if this is a trick by another Titan, some kind of magic, or if it really is Stick's ghost here to haunt them, but he's just going to assume it's the last one because it'd be just their luck. ]
[ Foggy speaks up and Matt leans in and clings to him tightly without thinking only to pull away suddenly, practically jumping back from him, a split second later. His arms are drawn back from Foggy, hands hovering awkwardly, head lowered, face red as he gasps for a proper breath. He lifts his head as Foggy tries to tell off the voice, whatever it truly is, the wheels racing in his head, catching up to what his body had done. As it sinks in what he just did, he squeezes his eyes shut, gritting his teeth as two different regrets pull at his heart in opposite directions.
He needs the voice to stop. He doesn't want to hear what Stick has to say, he doesn't want Foggy to hear it either. Matt takes a breath and adds to Foggy's words. ]
If it brothered you that much maybe you shouldn't have walked out so easily. But you did so it's really none of your business how I handle this war, or my problems, or my relationships.
[ If it isn't Stick's ghost it does a terribly good impression. Matt hopes the point was made but he also knows he's about to get a snide reply.
"I'm disappointed in you. Once again your potential is wasted. You think those gods brought you here to socialize? I might not have completed training you but we both know you know better. If you don't buckle down and act like a real warrior it's just a matter of time before someone dies on your watch. How'd you like Scruff to keel over and the rest of the troops to know it was your fault? It's already happened before and it will happen again. Look at what happened to Elektra, you could have prevented over half the shit that happened when the Fingers came together if you kept her alive."
Matt glares down toward the bed and grinds his jaw as the voice goes on. He snaps finally, shouting. ]
[ Oh. It's - it's not a surprise, and he reminds himself that he should have expected a reaction like that even as he gives an involuntary inhale, soft and sharp. Matt jerking away like he'd been burned by Foggy's touch hurts more than anything that Stick could ever say, but that's only because he loves Matt and doesn't give a shit about Stick.
Matt loves them both. He might talk a big game, might agree with Foggy when he says that Stick's an asshole and lift his chin up and tell Stick that it's none of his business, but it is. It is as long as Matt still cares, and Matt'll always care. There's things Stick'd done that were good, that'd helped Matt when no one else could, and underneath everything else that'll always be there. Part of it is just because it's Matt, and he is stunningly, beautifully loyal even if people don't deserve it and he chooses interesting ways to show it, and part of it is because that's how goddamn abuse works, and Matt was just a kid.
He puts a hand on Matt's knee, to let him know that it's - well, it's not okay, it's not okay at all, but Foggy's still here. ]
You are the one who dragged them into all of this in the first place. It wasn't Matt's responsibility to keep Elektra alive; it was yours. No, you know what - she was a grown ass woman who made her own choices, and I may not have liked her but she deserves better than to be used as ammunition in your let's get Matt to hate himself enough that he turns into me crusade. You know what happens to people who don't socialize? They go crazy, and they get themselves killed because they don't have anything to live for.
[ Matt cringes and covers his mouth with a tight fist. He's not going to cry, not in front of Stick, not again. It will only make the old man push harder. He was always good at sniffing out weakness and using it to his advantage. He knows faintly that Foggy has a hand on his knee, that he's trying to help him stay calm, but he can hardly think. He'd like everything to stop, now. ]
Go away Stick.
[ Matt can practically feel Stick standing there and hear the sharp inhale of breath he takes just before he chuckles. He's not really there of course, but the memory is so close it gets filled in any way.
"Of course you know, I knew you did. Scruffy here doesn't get it. He's as naive as they come joining this fight. He's even softer than you were as a kid, mentally and physically! You can sit here and listen to him talk about feelings as much as you want but you know people like him don't win wars. It's up to us Matty, to those who were born with the right kind of grit, to keep evil from winning so people like your idiot boyfriend can keep living in their happy little worlds.
Do you really think he knows better how to keep people alive or to make you strong than I do?"
Matt's face wrinkles as fights to think of words. Anything to get him to stop. ]
This is all rich coming from the guy who died right before the final battle of his war.
Jessica Jones. Luke Cage. Danny Rand. Colleen Wing. Misty Knight. Claire Temple. A whole team of people who are nothing like you, because your bullshit "it's all up to you and relying on other people is a weakness" always falls apart. You want to talk about war, get your head out of your own ass long enough to realize that your crusade and what you think you know doesn't mean a thing anymore.
[ The question wasn't meant for him - none of this is meant for him; that much is obvious.
If they were back home, maybe Foggy might have to concede the argument. Maybe, because while Stick has a really, really good point, Foggy has yet to find an argument good enough that he couldn't poke a few holes in it. He'd have to take a step back, though, re-evaluate, be personally affronted over idiot boyfriend and the implication that there's only one kind of war and it's the kind Stick knows.
But they're not home. They're not home, and Stick can talk about him naively joining this fight all he wants, but it's his fight, and he understands it better than Stick does. Mercury chose him, and Foggy's a few months past the time when he spent most of his days wondering why. ]
We're in Imperial Rome, and people like you don't win wars here. Soldiers can fight for years and end up coming home without it meaning anything because some soft adviser talked real pretty in the ear of an emperor and changed his mind about who their enemy was; and people with the right kind of grit can get on the wrong side of the gods faster than you can blink.
[ His grip on Matt's knee tightens as he turns his focus on in Matt, like if he just focuses hard enough he can will Stick out of existence. ]
He's wrong, Matt. You've saved more people both as Matt Murdock and as Daredevil than he ever could've, and the strength you have didn't come from him. He knows the Hand, but he didn't know anything about Fisk and he doesn't know anything about the Titans. We already beat one of those just fine without him, and we can do it here, too.
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[action] Late June, Post-Strix
They had just finished another round of training, Matt was stretching out his limbs and catching his breath. He didn't go easy on anyone during exercises, including Foggy, knowing it would be better for everyone if he practiced with purpose instead of holding back. He wasn't about to encourage others to go easy on the blind guy, this sent that message loud and clear. The rest was a force of habit, the training reminding him of childhood memories learning from Stick. He would have had hell to pay if he didn't give one hundred percent.
"You did good today," he tells Foggy, "You improved."
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He's good with his hands, good at any kind of heavy lifting, it's just - everything else that makes Foggy groan and dump a little bit of water over his head to try to cool down.
"Remind me that in the morning when I get up and my entire body hurts. I gotta tell you, Matt, this is no where near as fun as dancing for the same result, but hey, at least I'm improving." He's smiling, though, and there's no real heat to his complaints. Foggy was the one who asked for this, and he's accepted that he really needs to at least learn how to defend himself with more than a makeshift baseball bat.
"Ugh, even smiling hurts. Stop saying nice things to me."
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He wipes the sweat off his forehead and tugs at the collar of his tunic; at least the local fashion breathed reasonably well still he would prefer to exercise in his clothes from home. They need to find some shade.
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…that actually sounds like a good idea, though, and he's already wondering about how he can make it happen. “I think I can take one for the team and teach it to them. I might just have to hum it at any musician I see until they pick it up, but you know what, I believe in them.”
He's on the same wavelength as Matt, though, and he starts looking for some shady spots at the same time as he automatically reaches out to tap Matt’s arm, offering his own for him to take.
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Matt feels the gentle tap on his arm and wipes the sweat off his palm on his tunic before he grabs Foggy's arm; if Foggy's elbow area happens to be sweaty he won't say anything. They haven't walked around together like this so often since college, logical as they were living together at the time and even if they're not in the same house now they're both at the complex for most waking hours. It's a nice reminder of a happier time in their relationship, though Matt is mentally holding his breath and waiting for the other shoe to drop. He has no idea what he'll do to handle things when that time arrives. Will it result in the same distant conversations with him or for that matter with Karen?
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Foggy is very deliberately choosing not to be confused by it. He's seen Back to the Future, all right, he knows how this works. Totally. All that matters is that he has the chance to invent salsa music and he's taking it.
Just like he's very deliberately choosing not to focus on the fact that he's... kind of waiting for the same. Something's going to come up; it has too, considering they haven't really even resolved the issues from their first huge fight, but that something doesn't have to be now.
But he's watching Matt out of the corner of his eye as they find some shade under one of the weapons tents, and he always did have a hard time just letting it go when it was about someone else being broody.
"All right, you've got your patented Matt Murdock unhappy thinking face on, what's up?"
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As they walk, Matt grinds his jaw while he sorts his useful thoughts from the worries he can't do anything about at the moment or wants to avoid. There's a rustle of fabric as they enter one of the tents. The instant cool feeling of the shade is a relief that earns a satisfied sigh. Well, that's one comfort.
Matt snaps to attention when Foggy speaks up and he blinks a couple times. "Patented unhappy thinking face," he muses, "I swear you've used that one before over the years."
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Still, he lets it go to quirk a little smile at Matt's response, shaking his head.
"Yeah, well, there's a reason that it's patented. You making it enough gives me free rein to comment on it more than once." He bumps his shoulder against Matt's lightly. "And that wouldn't be you dodging the question, would it?"
He keeps his tone light, like he can pretend it's just a joke and the answer to that doesn't matter to him at all, like it'll mean nothing if that actually was his intention.
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;delivery; backdated to the first week of june
Foggy,
Thanks for the help with the icehouse preparations. Enjoy the brandy!
Cheers!
-Flynn
July 10th
This is what I wanted to give you. I know I already made you one before but since it's still at home and- I don't know if you still have it...
[ He holds out the leather bracelet he had woven, grin giving way to a softer smile. ]
Happy birthday.
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Also kind of feels like he shouldn't make it a big deal, here, because no one gives a shit when there's a war going on.
So it means more than he can say that Matt still treats it like it is a big deal. Like it's special enough to be given extra consideration even during all of this, and he spends most of the day being reminded every five seconds or so of just how much he loves Matt.
He huffs out a laugh when he comes into his room just to find Matt sitting on the window, and just absolutely lights up when he sees the bracelet. Enough that after he takes it, he keeps hold of Matt's hand and presses it to his face for a moment so Matt can feel just how wide he's grinning - Matt deserves to know the kind of reaction he's getting. ]
What do you take me for, the kind of loser who didn't keep every single memento from his best friend while he was pining away for him? I still have a box full of receipts and ticket stubs - and huh, saying it out loud I'm not sure if counts as romantic or weird, so let's just gloss over that part.
[ He focuses back on the bracelet, turning it over in his hands. ]
The bracelet was special, Matt, of course I still have it. I love it. And I love this one - thank you.
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He grins again at the feeling of Foggy's face warm with joy and stretched with a big grin. He gives an audible sigh of relief as Foggy informs him that he still has the original bracelet and then some, and most importantly that he likes the new one. ]
I wasn't sure what to give you until I found someone selling leatherware at the market. Turned out they had a little extra material they were willing to part with. You can't call this one a friendship bracelet though, you'll have to come up with something sappier.
[ Matt brushes his fingers over his cheek and leans in to peck him on the lips. ]
Just how many receipts and ticket stubs do you have stashed away? Hm. You must have it bad for me! Don't tell me you have the papers we worked on together or the tests we aced too. Where will there be space for my copies when our collections combine?
[ He's so caught up in the moment he doesn't give a second thought to the implication they might combine their belongings someday. He says it without hesitation, like a fact. ]
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You're telling me to be even sappier than I usually am, you sure about that? [ His grin stays just as wide as he hums, pretending to consider that. ] I'll go easy on you and call them couple's bracelets, though that means I'm going to have to find one for you, too.
[ They're doing a great job at this low key thing, really. His skin warms just a little bit at the teasing, right up until Matt admits that he's got copies of things, too, and then he lights back up again. ]
I believe we call that leading the witness, counselor, I refuse to answer that. You know exactly how badly I have it for you. [ But he leans in for another kiss to back that statement up, lingering a little bit longer over this one. ] I bet we have our entire college career between the two of us; we'll find somewhere to stash it.
[ It is a fact, apparently, or at least it's something that feels so natural to talk about that Foggy doesn't even blink. ]
Where did you learn how to make these, anyway? I was so distracted trying to be cool and keep my excitement over you giving it to me to an appropriate best friend level and not an 'I might be falling hopelessly in love with you' level that I forgot to ask.
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[ Nobody will suspect a thing! If they ask, they're friendship bracelets obviously!
Matt is smiling so much it's a little difficult to pucker his lips for kisses, a common occurrence. Thankfully most of their kisses such as these happen in sets. He hasn't told Foggy yet but he still gets a little weak in the knees whenever a kiss lingers or seems to set off a spark just right. He wouldn't mind if it kept happening forever. It could! ]
I might have known you were playing it cool back then but I was too. I don't know... what is the regular level of excitement over gift exchanges between loving best friends? Maybe you had a serious love for handcrafted leather accessories.
I learned from a girl who was at the orphanage the first year I was there. It was one of the few craft projects I could really participate in. I happened to be decent at it. Not that it's difficult to do, most of it is repetition. I lost the first couple I made or they were tossed out when I wasn't wearing them. They were cheap paper; we didn't have high quality materials for kids crafts.
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[ Though they probably both know that if Foggy's making the effort to learn, he's going to make Matt one eventually. It's fine; Foggy's got a tiny pile of gifts for Matt that'll still definitely be a surprise - not in the least because he just keeps not getting a chance to give them to him. ]
I had a serious love for something. I can't believe we managed to successfully play it cool. I know we hadn't reached our current peak level of suave back then, so I have to assume we were both just huge dorks and it cancelled out.
[ Matt's not the only one who still gets weak in the knees. Foggy might've told himself that his heart stopped beating double time over every little thing Matt did a long time ago, and maybe that was true before they started dating, but now? It's back with a vengeance.
He shifts a little to kiss the tips of Matt's fingers, though he's still grinning, too, so it's more like a press of his lips, but still. ]
From a girl, huh, did you give her one, too? You sure they got tossed out, maybe the other girls were just snatching them up so they could have one too.
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[ Matt laughs, both of them know Foggy is obvious in his intentions but it's fun anyway. He'll have to visit that craftsman again for more material.
He hums and nods in agreement as Foggy muses on their previous behavior. They had both been thoroughly distracted by their own efforts, missing the other one makes sense. It's difficult not to launch into groans over how stupid they were missing the obvious all these years but Matt has reminded himself repeatedly that it's more productive to make up for all the affection they missed out on expressing than groaning over their mistakes. Still, it's a funny subject bound to rear it's head after they've had enough wine and they'll be laughing about it for a long time.
Matt's smile twitches at the feeling of Foggy kissing his fingers again the way it does almost everytime he does it like he's holding back laughter, which he really is. He hasn't said it, somewhat embarrassed by how much such a little thing warms his heart, but he loves that he can touch Foggy's face to feel his expression and Foggy's natural inclination is to kiss his fingers as if letting him feel for his smile or frown is as wonderful for him as it is for Matt. Maybe it is?
He shakes his head and laughs again at Foggy's suggestion, half because he recognizes the familiar tone and concept from countless other exchanges. Foggy was always quick to imply Matt would have admirers lining up for him, something that has taken on a second meaning since they got together. But of course Foggy would think that of the man he himself finds so attractive. ]
No, no. She had her fill of bracelets after making them long before she taught me. Most of the other girls learned from her, there was no shortage of them around the orphanage for a while there. Eventually, I was the only one occasionally weaving one. I probably got better at making them than the girl who taught me.
[ He shrugs his shoulders and in the silence following his explanation his unfocused eyes sink from where they were pointed toward Foggy's mouth downward toward the floor. He can't entirely ignore the reminder of Stick's rejection. Foggy has no idea of course about how the subject is related, and he had made Foggy a bracelet the first time in part to try making a happy memory to balance out the bad. ]
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He laughs at Matt's headshake, still a little skeptical. Look, maybe Foggy can admit that he's biased, but Matt is both amazing and apparently slightly oblivious when it comes to people being interested in him. He's still pretty sure that more people had crushes on the guy than he'll ever know.
And Foggy used to consider himself one of those people, but fortunately for him, it's working out better than he ever could have imagined. He's still grinning as he fastens the bracelet around his wrist.
He's about ready to voice his skepticism teasingly, until Matt's gaze drops, and Foggy knows that means Matt's thoughts have gone somewhere that are a lot more painful than he's letting on. ]
I know that look. Oh, wait, hey - is this a "sad Matt Murdock I don't want to talk about it and make myself vulnerable" thing or a "magic ninja super power I can't talk about it but I don't want to lie" thing? I always figured it was the first but I'm thinking I might have to re-categorize some things. [ Not the point, Nelson. ] ...sorry. But you can talk to me, Matt.
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Late July
Later that night he thinks he hears people talking from afar and his heart leaps. He raises a hand and snaps his fingers, hoping the click will reverberate off the walls and reveal the area around him the way it would for him normally. He tries several times then lowers his hand again and sighs. Just his imagination, his hearing isn't back to normal.
The night seems even quieter than usual after the reminder. He remembers to make a point of speaking softly to Foggy later when they're a tangle of limbs pulling off clothing and slipping into the bed, whispering sweet nothings and laughing softly at their own terrible jokes between kisses. He had just positioned himself in Foggy's lap facing him and leaned in to whisper in his ear when Matt pauses and lifts his head, tilting it side to side to try catching the noise he hears better, brow furrowed. ]
Is someone in another room talking?
[ Not as if that would be odd in a complex. Of all people, they have no right to complain about neighbors' noise. It seems closer though, quiet but not muffled the way it should be if it was coming from behind a wall. ]
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A couple of years ago, Foggy would've said that he could wait, and Matt'll tell him when he's ready. Now, well. Now he's not as sure, but he's less angry over that than he is sad. Matt's so used to having to hold pieces of himself back from everyone out of fear that no one'll still be there if they get to see all of him. Foggy hates that he'd ended up contributing to that as much as he hates that Matt's response to things is to be a huge asshole sometimes.
So of course he's struggling with actually talking about whatever it is. Foggy can wait, until either Matt makes a decision or it starts weighing on him so heavily that he can't help but start prying a little. He's got plenty to distract him in the meantime.
Like Matt being in his lap, and it's a pretty safe bet that Foggy's not thinking about anything but getting to touch Matt as much as possible, even when he pauses.
God Matt's cute. He knows there has to be something that Matt's picking up to make him do his little head tilt thing, but for a moment he's distracted by it to care about what, until Matt's question. ]
Maybe? Shit, we weren't being that loud, right?
nsfw and tw because yikes (verbal abuse, homophobia, more to come no doubt)
Don't think so.
[ They were speaking more hushed than normal this time and hadn't forgotten to watch their volume yet. When he pauses to listen, the entire Mercury house seems silent minus a few muffled thumps from people moving in other rooms and on other floors. Matt turns his head to Foggy and smiles, giving a little shrug. ]
Must be my imagination. I thought I heard people talking from far away earlier today, the way I normally would, but nothing has changed.
[ He shakes his head again, this time at his mistake, and he leans in to press a kiss to Foggy's lips. Maybe his frustrations are getting the best of him. Better to hold tight to Foggy and put his troubles aside for the night.
He's smiling at him and running his fingers over Foggy's forehead to brush back his hair when something drops in his stomach, his intuition telling him something isn't right a split second before he hears a familiar old voice rasping right in his ear as if the man were leaning in to bark at him the way he had so many times long ago.
"Matty, what the hell are you doing?"
Matt snaps to attention, spine straight, eyes wide. ]
Why-?
[ Matt's voice is choked when he speaks, barely getting out the word. His fingers tremble against the back of Foggy's neck. There's no way Stick could possibly...
The bodyless voice huffs in indignation. "You've made stupid decisions over the years but THIS is a new level of idiocy. You agreed to fight in this war- you made the decision to join- but you still haven't committed yourself. Still hesitating on the battlefield, still refusing to kill your enemies when you know it endangers others. Worse, you can barely fight properly even after all these months of training!
You know all this but instead of doing something about it you get in bed every night with Scruffy here and let him fill your head with softhearted shit while he fucks you like some kind of hoar. Is this what you got from all that time I taught you? You think being a soldier means playing house and sucking another man's dick? It's not genius!"
Matt swallows loudly and forces out his words. ]
You're dead. This isn't real.
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Which, well. Means that Foggy's basically doing a complete reversal from what he was just thinking about being patient and is absolutely getting ready to push. Or nudge, maybe, just a tiny bit. But then there's that, and Foggy's head snaps towards the door just as Matt snaps to attention.
Holy shit, of all the people to get resurrected - but the room's empty. It's empty, but Foggy's really starting to wish that it wasn't, because the more the phantom voice talks the more Foggy wants to punch it in the face harder than he's ever punched anything before.
The fact that Matt doesn't seem surprised by what Stick's saying, only that the voice is there at all - yeah, that tells Foggy all he needs to know. And he's too furious to shut up or step back and think more about this, because shit all of that is - well, it's personally insulting, frankly, and there's more than one thing in there that gets his blood boiling on his own behalf. But mostly absolutely none of that is anything that Matt needed to hear. Ever, but especially not from someone who he'd trusted and respected, and who he still blames himself for losing. ]
There's no one there. He's not here, Matt, he's - are you kidding me, this is where we're at now? Because the Owls of Death and the rain that wouldn't end and Murder Bambi wasn't enough, now we've got the Ghost of Asshole Past? Get out, you crusty old jackass, maybe if you'd gotten laid a little more you wouldn't have been such a sorry excuse for a human being. And you lost your chance to talk about all that time I taught you when you up and left two seconds into training him because one thing didn't go how you wanted it. How's that for cowardice and idiocy, huh?
[ He doesn't know if this is a trick by another Titan, some kind of magic, or if it really is Stick's ghost here to haunt them, but he's just going to assume it's the last one because it'd be just their luck. ]
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He needs the voice to stop. He doesn't want to hear what Stick has to say, he doesn't want Foggy to hear it either. Matt takes a breath and adds to Foggy's words. ]
If it brothered you that much maybe you shouldn't have walked out so easily. But you did so it's really none of your business how I handle this war, or my problems, or my relationships.
[ If it isn't Stick's ghost it does a terribly good impression. Matt hopes the point was made but he also knows he's about to get a snide reply.
"I'm disappointed in you. Once again your potential is wasted. You think those gods brought you here to socialize? I might not have completed training you but we both know you know better. If you don't buckle down and act like a real warrior it's just a matter of time before someone dies on your watch. How'd you like Scruff to keel over and the rest of the troops to know it was your fault? It's already happened before and it will happen again. Look at what happened to Elektra, you could have prevented over half the shit that happened when the Fingers came together if you kept her alive."
Matt glares down toward the bed and grinds his jaw as the voice goes on. He snaps finally, shouting. ]
I know already!
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Matt loves them both. He might talk a big game, might agree with Foggy when he says that Stick's an asshole and lift his chin up and tell Stick that it's none of his business, but it is. It is as long as Matt still cares, and Matt'll always care. There's things Stick'd done that were good, that'd helped Matt when no one else could, and underneath everything else that'll always be there. Part of it is just because it's Matt, and he is stunningly, beautifully loyal even if people don't deserve it and he chooses interesting ways to show it, and part of it is because that's how goddamn abuse works, and Matt was just a kid.
He puts a hand on Matt's knee, to let him know that it's - well, it's not okay, it's not okay at all, but Foggy's still here. ]
You are the one who dragged them into all of this in the first place. It wasn't Matt's responsibility to keep Elektra alive; it was yours. No, you know what - she was a grown ass woman who made her own choices, and I may not have liked her but she deserves better than to be used as ammunition in your let's get Matt to hate himself enough that he turns into me crusade. You know what happens to people who don't socialize? They go crazy, and they get themselves killed because they don't have anything to live for.
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Go away Stick.
[ Matt can practically feel Stick standing there and hear the sharp inhale of breath he takes just before he chuckles. He's not really there of course, but the memory is so close it gets filled in any way.
"Of course you know, I knew you did. Scruffy here doesn't get it. He's as naive as they come joining this fight. He's even softer than you were as a kid, mentally and physically! You can sit here and listen to him talk about feelings as much as you want but you know people like him don't win wars. It's up to us Matty, to those who were born with the right kind of grit, to keep evil from winning so people like your idiot boyfriend can keep living in their happy little worlds.
Do you really think he knows better how to keep people alive or to make you strong than I do?"
Matt's face wrinkles as fights to think of words. Anything to get him to stop. ]
This is all rich coming from the guy who died right before the final battle of his war.
[ "And who finished that war in my place?" ]
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[ The question wasn't meant for him - none of this is meant for him; that much is obvious.
If they were back home, maybe Foggy might have to concede the argument. Maybe, because while Stick has a really, really good point, Foggy has yet to find an argument good enough that he couldn't poke a few holes in it. He'd have to take a step back, though, re-evaluate, be personally affronted over idiot boyfriend and the implication that there's only one kind of war and it's the kind Stick knows.
But they're not home. They're not home, and Stick can talk about him naively joining this fight all he wants, but it's his fight, and he understands it better than Stick does. Mercury chose him, and Foggy's a few months past the time when he spent most of his days wondering why. ]
We're in Imperial Rome, and people like you don't win wars here. Soldiers can fight for years and end up coming home without it meaning anything because some soft adviser talked real pretty in the ear of an emperor and changed his mind about who their enemy was; and people with the right kind of grit can get on the wrong side of the gods faster than you can blink.
[ His grip on Matt's knee tightens as he turns his focus on in Matt, like if he just focuses hard enough he can will Stick out of existence. ]
He's wrong, Matt. You've saved more people both as Matt Murdock and as Daredevil than he ever could've, and the strength you have didn't come from him. He knows the Hand, but he didn't know anything about Fisk and he doesn't know anything about the Titans. We already beat one of those just fine without him, and we can do it here, too.
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